i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
it hurts more in the daytime
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
Randomize
