Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
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God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
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It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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