its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
Randomize
