The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
I woke up and there is a food processor in my purse. Someone else's framed family photo. My front door is wide open and my gerbil is playing in the water bong.
Yeah I'm going to bathe him.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
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