bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
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