dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
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