Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
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