Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
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