Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
Randomize
