Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
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