So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize
