Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
Randomize
