i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
