This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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