I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
