It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Randomize
