You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
Randomize