so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
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