it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
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