you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
