One girl and one boy is just not enough.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
Randomize
