Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
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