exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
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