Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
No...this little piggys going to the bar
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
