Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
Randomize
