My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
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