it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
Randomize