yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
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