Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
you inspire me to be a worse person
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
Randomize
