is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
Randomize
