the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
