I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
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