Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
I've blown a few things in my day
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
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