The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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