i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
foreskin is a definite game changer
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize