Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
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