no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
