we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
Houston, we have a blender
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
