dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
Randomize