I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
Terrible idea I love it
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Randomize
