idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
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Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
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I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
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