Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
Randomize