someone owes me an orgasm
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
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