please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
porn star boner night. come get it.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
Randomize
