I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
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