That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
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Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
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I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
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