Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
Hippo gnu deer
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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