was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
Randomize