When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
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