I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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