As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
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All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
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An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
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