Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
Randomize
