Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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