just come out here and I will go home with you...
The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Randomize