im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Randomize
