i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
Randomize
