what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
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