Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
Randomize
