I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
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